Tuesday, November 30, 2004
haha....am chatting with Jaciel right now..shez really getting me all hypered up man!!! Gdnezz!! cant wait for us to P-A-R-T-Y!!!! What with Chinablack, Zouk and some other areas!! hehe Luv 'em all!! ;)
A fren just told me about that Fucktard, k..i meant James..btw, this term "Fucktard" is created by Jaciel n i really love it! haha...k..itz like this guy friend of mine, he was like telling me, that just the other day, he was on MSN, msging that Fucktard, asking him how r things between me and him..then his reply was like "we never even started..".. well, it doesnt matter anyway.. i mean..itz not as if i've lost someone great in bed or what..*haaha* if u got what i meant..but in this sense, i dont mean shaggin yeah..wwell.. yeah.. hez just another Fucktard, Fuckwit..haha And yes..in case if u were wondering..this fucktard did ask for "it"..but obviously im a no-no for that case..so no worries about that! IM still a pure n innocent one! *winkz*
Now you know cowards exists huh...n also people with such low IQ, thinking everyone else's IQ is as low as his.. itz like people definitely know whats going on, you dont have to hide, you just CANT hide..itz obvious.. only people with such low IQ would think that people dont have the sense to figure things out..
well..Jaciel suggested throwing tomatoes..but i laughed and told her No..that would be a total waste...we should just throw..erm..wait a moment.. guyz..reading this..dont mind me being crude or what..im just open about such issues..yeah.. I was like saying tomatoes aint the right thing to throw..we should throw "used sanitary pads" at him..haha! what do u think? any of u have better ideas on dealing with such a fucktard? haha..
Jaciel asked me a question which i guess itz quite cool..like how we're gonna face each other in campus, or rather in class.. i guess the answer is to be cool about everything, be myself, n most importantly, show that my life is much more "life-ful" than his, what with him carrying his laptop around the campus..lifeless..
haha..alright..i shall just stop bitchin' now..cya! Luv ya Jaciel! U really brightened up my night! ;)
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 10:40 pm
-The End-
well..the timetable was out yesterday..n frankly speaking, its the first ever time im satisfied with the planning of it.. Cuz our days are soo much shorter...as in, at least we dont have a single day lasting until 5 in the afternoon..hehe
If anyone of u is interested in my class timetable..hehe
Mondayz : 10-3.30pm, except for (Wkz 2,4,6,8,11,13,15) it would b 9-3.30pm
Tuesdayz : 8.30-4pm
Wednesdayz : 9-3pm
Thursdayz : 10-3pm, except for (Wkz 2,4,6,8,11,13,15) it would b 9-4pm
Fridayz : 8.30-1pm
yeah..well..my dear frenz..do blog ur timetable if u can yeah? so that we can see whenz our free slotz.. ;)
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 8:48 pm
-The End-
Monday, November 29, 2004
Well...u know what? I guess im probably gonna be literally "home-alone" for this X'Mas..Cuz my parents and elder sister are going Bangkok for a holiday..so mean to leave me out for that..but itz my fault too for not informing that my break would be cut short..
And yeah..although my eldest sis would be "at home" with me, i wouldnt be expecting her to be "at home" too..she would most probably be with her boyfriend..so it's as good as me being "home alone"..for like what.. 5 to 6 days..which is on either 30th or 31st i suppose..well..nevermind..shall take that opportunity to roam around and stay out late! haha..Maybe..Just maybe.. Or if any of you are feeling bored, do buzz me or something yeah? and we can have fun together! ;)
Hmz..frankly speaking, i cant wait for school to start..yeah..i guess its the usual thing..whereby when the term is here, you just wish for the break, and when the break is here, you just wish for school..u know..that kinda thing..yeah..guess im just not satisfied..
Im actually at work right now, but i thought I'd just take some time off to blog, moreover there aint anyone around(as in customers)..so im free..yeaah..quite nice..hehe But i still missed the period of time when i was working at AMEX..Come to think of it, so far, its the only temp job which i have had the most memories left with...as in..hmz...heaps of memories over there..what with the people, and what with my life after work..well..Just how i wish those days could be repeated again..But deep down, i know it cant, so i just hope for the best for the situation..
well...for now..yeah..gona get back with my work..so...yeah
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 3:14 pm
-The End-
Friday, November 26, 2004
well...have just removed the iwebmusic thingy..so yeah..there would b no more music on the site..
Received feedback that there were some irritating popupz n stuffz..yeah..i know it has definitely got something to do with the server side of that the the host of that iWebMusic thingy..yeah..
So sorry about it yeah?
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 9:04 pm
-The End-
Thursday, November 25, 2004
well..I just started work yesterday..really shagged but much more fulfilling than my previous jobs...as in, at least i dont actually literally get to sit down and wait for the time to pass..like those jobs that I've had previously...man......
k...actually im supposed to be working right now, but im just taking some time off to blog about my pool of emotions which are so overwhelming..Itz like im supposed to help out with the processing of bursary forms.. And although it has only been a day, I felt like i have come across the worse cases in life, making me realise that im quite fortunate after all...
seriously, n i dont mean im that well off or what..u get what im saying? Hmz...well..i dont know, itz like when i got home, i just kinda like teared at the thought of it..itz really sad...I mean, there were actually sooo so many cases of single parents, what with divorces, some missing parents, some have been sent to that "far-far away land"(some literally that and others have gone to face the four walls)..I meant literally as in passed away, and four walls..u should know what i mean right..well.. *sigh* The thought of that is really really sad..
Or am i just over being emotional when it has nothing got to do with me at all..? well..i dont know..i just felt really really down last night when i got home..
Oh..the results were released yesterday..in case any of u didnt know..do check it yeah?
well..anyway...i really gota go..before someone checks on me at the counter here..haha...Tiz is soo thrillin'..alright..ya take care!
Luv Ya! ;)
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 11:35 am
-The End-
Monday, November 22, 2004
Well..
My spirits are quite alright..as in, im in a pretty quite alright mood right now..Got a call from my agency, telling me that they've got a job for me, and im supposed to report to work on Wed..lasting for two weeks, and if needed, it would be extended..yeah..pretty glad about it..it's like killing two birds with one stone, one hand earning the bucks and the other killing time..
Although i would really love to meet up with old friends, n especially someone ...whom i dont know when i would even get to see him..maybe i would only get to see him after the date which he told me, which is a near the mid Dec...*sigh*
And to that someone~I'm so glad I got to know you..well..i know i have not said such things before to u..so yeah..i really mean it k..n I ...hmz...nvm..
well...anyway..yeah..juz thought I'd blog..hhee..
Luv all of ya lotz! ;)
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 9:53 pm
-The End-
Sunday, November 21, 2004
well.. went to the motorshow earlier on in the afternoon with my sister, and Ru Ting brought us in..Thanx babe! was nice though it was kinda boring..but at least i got to spot my fave EVO VIII MR.. ;) n thanx babe for telling me yesterday..that that guy was back..haha..still think u should have pretended to say like "hey..i thought you're supposed to be in the States..what r u doin here.?" haha..this would have made him awkward man! haha..im *evil*..
Oh yeah..was laughing my head off when i was reading this mail..sent by that guy.. u guys should know who i mean right.. yeah.. guess it was out of guilty conscience that he probably sent me a mail saying that he's back from the States.. n what with him having no time for me n what with him being busy with his stuffs..its like oh please man..
The first thing that came to my mind was that this guy is someone who has really low IQ..so freakin' IQ-less to rule out the possibility of Ru Ting telling me that she saw him there at the motorshow that he was back..like *duhz*..
Secondly..itz like oh please..its not like i can be bothered whether he has the time for me anot..
I decided to play along with him anyway..tiz is what i replied...
"oh..itz fine..im getting used to it that u have no time for me..
well..alright..so anyway..im just really curious..wad r u actually busy with? now that you're back..? ur mum's accounts? or jacqueline?"
It must have stunned him like how i would even get to know the name of his previous girlfriend man! He must be shocked to know how resourceful i am..n how he should not mess around with me! haha...I feel G-O-O-D!
Lastly, i would wanna really thank all of you out there...for being there for me, n accepting me for who i am..
people like Ru Ting, Rosalind, Yong Chiang, Jaciel, Mun Yee, Shadowz80, Lincoln, Terence, *H*(u're still impt to me)....
hmz..did i miss anyone out? i hope not though...do holler me back if i missed u out yeah?
*gigglish*
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 10:14 pm
-The End-
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Just felt like blogging..yeah.. so here i am..
Was having a heart-to-heart chat with my elder sis at bedtime last night..
Was telling her that i still feel kinda troubled over that matter..She told me this sentence which really got into my head, as in, it really struck me k..
Her sentence was "I rather you be surprised rather than wait for a surprise..".. Cuz i was telling her im like hanging on, waiting and waiting, then..yeah..that sentence really got the better of me..itz so TRUE!! hmz..
Just love her advice k..
well...think im just gonna take a nap right now...feeling rather drained out right now... haha...nahz...i did not do anything alright... just feeling drained out..must there evrn be areason for the feeling ?? hmz..k..i shall cut my crap here alright..for now..u take care n stay safe yeah? ;)
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 2:27 pm
-The End-
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Well..
went for my EEG at SGH in the morning yesterday..Was kinda giddy after that..but still alright..By the way, EEG is this thing whereby they fixed all the wires onto your head, then detect and test your brain waves.. Im doing it for the sake of my brain of course..To make sure like my past illness doesnt have a relapse or something..But so far itz alright..I think having such a test is like better than not knowing your health at all..I mean like at least you can be assured that you're alright..yeah..
Hmz..and regarding my life right now..I guess im doing relatively fine..As for that matter, im just gonna give it a 95% for the part of giving up, n only a bare 5 % of hope. So my current mindset is like if itz gone, then so be it. My life is better off and I would be a stronger person in life, wouldnt I? ;) Im so glad i have this sorted out... I mean its like not my loss right..And oh yeah..haha..on top of that..k..i think im gonna b kinda mean to really speak my mind this time, I just really the dress sense of the ex gf..is like "????"..haha..as in, itz like something i would never wear..what with tee shirts, polo tees, k..i dont mean to offend anyone of you gals out here reading this blog entry of mine..its just meant to..(k..i dont mean my dress sense is that good either..)Hmz..nevermind..better stop here..cuz if i really wanna say it, i really have got heaps to comment about her..haha! So now i know, this guy rather would rather go for "suburbz" than "townz".. haha..i dont think anyone of you can figure out what im talking about here, what with "
SUBURBs" and "
TOWNs"..haaha..but if anyone of u do, then tag me yeah? (^_*)
And as i have said like so many times, i have done whatever i can, and if there really is a person with regrets about this matter, it would
definitely not be me! I swear for that! :)
And i still, and really strongly believe that God has better plans for me! heee..
Oh yeah..met up with this guy in the evening yesterday, and although i had let him down in the past, he was still always there for me, we met up at Harbourfront and had dinner..well..he had at least..cuz i just had no appetite..yeah..hehe Really appreciate him for being there for me.
Really..itz like at the end of the day, when things don't work out for you, the two groups of people who would always be there for you are firstly, your FAMILY, and your FRIENDS..Dont u agree with me? hehe
Okie...alright...i shall stop bitching about now..Gonna surf the net for interesting stuffs and help out with the housework..yeah..i know, itz sooo not me right..Well..im in for a drastic change now..even my dress sense..haha!
all right..mean time, u guyz stay safe yeah...Love all of u lotz!!! *muackz*
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 10:29 am
-The End-
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Here are some quotes that i picked and extracted from a site with a huge database of more than 3000 quotes.., which describe just how i feel...
The ULTIMATES one are here, bolded:
"Don't waste your time loving someone who isn't willing to love you."
"Maybe God wanted us to meet a few wrong people, so that when we met the right one, we would know what a gift is."
"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes it's important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is!"
"One day you'll love me, the way I loved you. One day you'll think of me the way I thought of you. One day you'll cry for me, the way I cried for you. One day you'll want me, but I WON'T want you..."
"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them.."
"Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I could go to bed at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.."
"Now I believe it when people say love is blind... 'cause I must have been blind to love a person like you."
"Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you."
"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!"
"Learn to love someone who would never make you cry. If he hurts you real bad, then why don't you just say goodbye. You see, men are not worthy of precious tears, they just make us look terrible..."
"Parting of loving someone is learning to let go."
"It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares."
"The worst thing a guy can do is let a girl fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall."
"I am everything you want; I am everything you need; I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things, at exactly the right time, but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why?"
"Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you."
"Even if my heart should call out your name in the rain, even if these arms should want to embrace you again, and even if I’m all cried out and no longer in pain... I’ll never fall in love that way again."
"Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."
"Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still love although they've been hurt before."
"She's got him falling head over heals for her and I can't even get him to stumble..."
"One day you will seek love and be sorry that you threw mine away."
"Two teardrops are floating in the ocean, one teardrop asked the other, 'Who are you?'
'I'm the teardrop of a girl who was driven away by a guy, and who are you?'
The other one answered, 'I'm the teardrop of a guy who regretted letting a girl go.'"
"I believe that true love will last forever... if it doesn't it just means there's someone else out there who loves you more."
"Never cry over somebody who would not cry over you."
"No matter how smart someone is, they'll never realize what they have, until it is gone."--------->Hope that this person, whom you guys know im referring to wouldnt be so "full-of-himself"...He thinks hez high above everyone..
*sigh* i still feel really sad despite all this..I think i really need time..Im never gonna believe anyone so easily again..Im just so stupid....such a failure...
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 7:53 pm
-The End-
Yes. Cheng Yi. You are so right. The song "Welcome to my life" by Simple Plan really describes me.. Just found the lyrics.. Just thought I'd share it with you guys.. Here it goes:
Welcome To My Life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 1:58 pm
-The End-
Well..Thanks to Adam and Ru Ting, it was kinda settled yesterday..
Well..someone went for an op for his teeth..*sigh* I mean, how do you expect people to understand you and the difficulties you faced when you dont even tell them about anything? Anything or everything that has been up with u? This is preposterous.
You know its not like you dont try to understand..You just simply cant.. Y? Itz back to my point. You just dont know like what going on..And sometimes, you just tend to ponder and ponder, let your thoughts run wild and stuffs. i just dont know how irresponsible some people can be..Itz like as if they just make assumptions thinking people are mind readers, knowing what's been up with them, itz like what the hell man..*sigh* Sorry..i dont mean to be that bad..Hmz...i dont think anyone has been in my situation and definitely, i dont think anyone can understand how im feeling really..
And what if you found out that, someone, during a busy period, let's just say during the exam period, he/she has no time for you, not even a msg or a call, actually went to meet up with his ex-girlfriend? *sigh* Dont you feel like totally down, like you're nothing at all..?
*sigh* I really dont know what's going on..Holidays are meant to be happy periods for me..But not this time round.
Im just so sick and tired of everything..Especially with matters of the heart. Itz like you're always there..really always there, no matter how busy you are, you're willing to sacrifice your sleep time or whatever to be there for people..but when you need them, where are they? Well..they are NEVER, NEVER there.
guess its just my fate....
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 11:43 am
-The End-
Friday, November 05, 2004
Well..im feeling really down now and i dont feel at all good even though my exams were all over yesterday, Thursday...hmz...a feeling of not feeling good and having to fall sick, what with bloatedness, fainting symptoms, not having to take the meals-having no appetite, and a mild fever, cough and flu.... *sigh*
*sigh*..Have you ever been in a situation whereby u gave your best, gave whatever you have, and u're never appreciated? and when u expect someone to be there, they would NEVER EVER be there? n they just dont bother to find out about u..how you're doing and stuffs.. and even if you told this someone u had a blog or something.. they NEVER EVER bother to find out about the URL...Well..what can i say.. Yez..i know..i know that at the end of the day, there would definitely be people who care about you, and THEY are your family--> who are always there for you no matter how you treat them, and your good friends to listen to your remonstrations..
And have you ever put on a brave front..though you know that you're can never be someone strong enough to be able to pull through certain matters? You tell your friends, "yeah..dont worry about me..i'll be fine.." But, when you get home, you know you're gonna suffer from a breakdown...N sometimes you just wonder, "Do i even exist at all? Who am I? What am I to some people?"
It wasn't easy to open up..Looks like I've gotta do it all over again... I really dont know what's my status now..
It would be good if that person whom i've been implicitly talking about, is being informed about this blog of mine..to let this person know how i really feel..
Im really disappointed.. and i must say that once again, it wasn't easy to open up.... :'(
Yvonne
Bitched Out @ 8:49 pm
-The End-